I’ve been looking forward to going for a long, easy weekend bike ride for over a month. The anticipation heightened by having spent three weeks in down town Seattle, getting my exercise by running up and down Capital Hill in rush hour traffic – the anti thesis of biking around Lake Whatcom in the early morning light.
So, I finally get on the bike his morning, and with the first turn of the crank, the entire drive train locks up. I experience an immediate rush of anger, frustration, why me God, how come, etc. Ultimately, I ask God “why are you doing this to me?” Following are some notes from the book “Cry of the Soul” which addresses this well.
Our desires consistently extend beyond our needs. But we live in a world with limited resources, and the universe is not equitable. Some people have greater wealth, greater joy, greater relationships….. this leads to our feelings of envy and jealousy.
- Envy is wanting what others have, jealousy is a desire to protect what we do have and fear others may take away from us. P. 110
- At their core, envy and destructive jealousy arise from the perception of loss or the fear of abandonment - especially the abandonment of God. P. 118
Some days I feel exactly like David did in Psa 88. I cannot see from here how He will meet me, or how I will get a chance to glorify Him in this, but I believe that I will. Stay tuned.
1 comment:
I know that my immediate reaction would have been to be annoyed. I would like to think that I would have asked God why this was happening and also what was going on here, and to please grant me the truths to battle the lies that Satan wants me to believe about what was going on.
Why did it lock up? Did you ever find out why? Was it just some random occurance and it works now, or is it something that you need to fix?
It's a lot better that it happened in your driveway instead of in the middle of the road or in the middle of climbing a hill with cars behind you.
What type of time came out of the opportunity that was presented by not being able to get out and away from everything. I know that you cherish your time with your family. So what came out of the time.
We all, me included, believe we have more of an idea as to what our day should look like than the Father. It's a lovely work in progress!
Post a Comment